July 21, 2018
Back again! June flew by. This year I celebrated a BIG birthday! I was going to celebrate by doing something really special, but the Sunday before, Father's Day, I went hiking at Clark Reservation with Susan. We had pretty much finished, deciding not to do the last leg of the hike (we'd been walking for almost 2 hours).

At the end of the Table Rock trail, we came to a spot where one has to jump about 2' to get off. One of the young guides insisted on helping me and I accepted although it flashed through my mind I shouldn't (reminder: listen to my inner voice). Anyway, she sort of took hold of my fingers and I started down. My foot slipped on the rock (I hadn't slipped once before and it is quite a long bunch of rocks) and I started to fall. She let go of me and I fell this way and that, ending up on my left foot. Ouch! I'd had enough, so did not want to go to the emergency room (and never thought of going to an Urgent Care site -- dang!), so asked Susan to take me home. She wanted to stop, so I compromised with a stop at Carvel's in Dewitt. Delicious!

Went to the dr. Tuesday when I realized it really looked horrible (black, red, very, very swollen) and was extremely painful. Yay! No broken bones, just a very bad sprain. The NP wrapped it and sent me home. Put ice on it -- hilarious! Ever put an ice pack on an ankle? It won't fold around of sit for very long and IT HURTS the bruise. Left the wrap on for two days, then noticed my toes were turning a lovely blue shade, so took it off. Since then, I've wrapped it lightly off and on. 

Still, the week went by quickly and okay, and my birthday was fine. Got a few cards and calls, but not a single one of either from a family member. No surprise, I know, but still...... Got a call from a friend I hadn't heard from in over a year and a card from a childhood friend who very randomly sends me one, so I never know about her. I write her occasionally (well, used to), but she never writes back. I faithfully sent her a birthday card every year, but because she seldom sent me one, I stopped. Then she started sending me one nearly every year. What? Very odd.

Still going to figure out some trip and place to go and just do it. Have to plan because Shadow's (cat) health issues have worsened and he takes more medication.  

Talked to Joan several times recently. She says she's really interested in moving up here or somewhere in between Bingo and here in the very near future. She had asked me to send her info for places, but I hesitated, then never did. I did not want her telling her kids that I had sent her the stuff without bothering to say she asked for it (I'm learning, eh?). Anyway, she called to talk about this, so I just suggested she write down names and I went on line and looked up places in several towns. We'll see if she bothers to call or email them

Still working on trying to live my best life, however many years I may have left.  I've got to stop letting my grief keep my inactive. Missing Richard is okay, I just can't let it limit me. To that end, I finally called a grief counselor again, and she scheduled me the very next day (yesterday). Good visit. She mostly listened, but was very kind and respectful. I like her style.

Lots of stuff to do around the house. The plumber got the kitchen sink issue resolved (very expensively, sorry to say). So, now I need to get bids/information for repairing or replacing the roof, repairing the deck and spraying the fence. Also, need to get the snow thrower and mower serviced because Huck is no longer able to do anything. 

Fran and I are finally going to get together next week to celebrate my birthday. Going to see a review of Buddy Holly songs (I think it's one guy, but not sure). Should be fun!

June 12, 2018
The day before Richard's birthday. Been a tough year (two?). Last December, Joey died; Chuck (Richard's cousin and our friend) also died. I still grieve for Joey and think fondly of both men. Chuck and Richard were very close when young and when Rich and I first dated. Rich's parents helped Chuck when his wife was very ill, often taking meals over for Chuck and the kids.  Chuck's parents were long gone, so Perry and Doris' kindess was greatly welcomed, especially since we no longer lived in that area.

Been struggling with loss ever since Joe died. I can only think that it is due in part to missed opportunities. I was actually going to visit Joe and Frank this year. Probably not at Derby time because there is always so much going on I don't get to spend a lot of time with them. And, of course, I doubled back to missed opportunities with Rich. Ugh!

So, what's new? After a lousy fall and winter (sickness, family issues, deaths, grief, more sickness), I signed up for courses this semester. Back to book clubs/groups. I attend only a couple, but read the books for four. Still having trouble with my vision (after the cataract surgery); some days, my eyes just don't feel good while reading, and even get headaches after just a little while of reading. Taking Tai Chi again. Yay! Also, I am taking a course in pictorial calligraphy. Supposed to be practicing as I type...tee hee. It's mostly about strokes and how to use them to make some basic designs -- leafs, feathers, trees, pastries, etc. The fall course will cover letters and numbers. I'm progressing very slowly and poorly even though the instructor regularly compliments my efforts! (She wants me to succeed, especially because of my hand--she said so. Hmmmm......)

Shadow is hanging in there. Or should I say doing well for a 19-year old cat with hyperthyroidism and kidney disease? He's been a blessing despite his big paws which carry litter all over the house and the never-ending struggle to get his pills down his throat twice a day! He's napping at my side as I type, which is another blessing because he has picked up the habit of walking across the keyboard. Crazy!

A beautiful day even though the temp is too high for this area this time of year. It's okay, though, because the humidity is low--yay! Stopped in The Distillery for coffee and apple crisp while a friend's car was in for maintenance. Brought up an interesting discussion about coffee out today: in most restaurants, it is not hot enough. It wasn't today; she nuked it to warm it up. Sometimes it's bitter (it was today). I drink coffee out because no one (except me) makes a decent cup of tea today. Tea out is usually awful, partly because no one boils the water anymore and also because most of the teas are run-of-the-mill tea bags. No thank you! The apple crisp was wonderful, though. 

Well, another entry, another promise: I am going to try and write on this with some regularity. I daren't promise every day though I hope to do so. So, off to write some letters -- I'm way behind on replying to people, also. Grief. It really did take over my soul. Wish me well.  Best.